“Some things in life cannot be fixed. They can only be carried.” ~ Megan Devine
Grief can be the result of many things that have gone awry in a person’s life. I have more than a few friends who are in the midst of grieving. I know that they are aware of their pain but I am not so sure that I have been as helpful as I could have been; so this post is for them.
I came to this realization because I recently joined an online support group for people dealing with Brain Injury. It is a closed group, meaning someone manages it. I found many individuals writing about the same sorts of daily issues that I content with on a regular basis, some humorous others not so much.
Within the first few days, one member expressed the desire to harm himself. He became somewhat abusive when others tried to be supportive, accusing others for his problems. I waded into the dialog suggesting that he ‘take a modicum of responsibility for his situation and seek professional help’, I have come to realize that my comments, though well intended, were the worst thing I could have typed. The young man left the group and he has not been heard from since. I do not know exactly what caused the man to be in so much pain because I never offered him the chance to share it and for that, I feel terrible. I think I should have known better, because no one is less impressed with his or her own mortality than I am. I am on intimate terms with loss and its effects.
“Grief is brutally painful. Grief does not only occur when someone dies. When relationships fall apart, you grieve. When opportunities are shattered, you grieve. When dreams die, you grieve. When illnesses wreck you, you grieve.”
The author of this article, Tim Lawrence, is promoting himself and that is fine because I found his words comforting and informative. However, I just wanted to point out that Mr. Lawrence is not writing for writing’s sake but to advance his own Practice, Website, and Business.